Difficulty Thanking God

“I know I don’t even need to ask this, but have you thanked God for all your success?” my husband asked me.

“Well, initially I had a hard time thanking Him. In fact, I found myself not wanting to thank Him.”

For those that know me well know that, as a result of my Crohn’s disease and fibromyalgia, for eight years I had to be on a horribly restrictive diet to the point where the last four years I ate the same foods every day. Now, I won’t go into too much detail here on how this happened, but since the beginning of the new year I have mentally retrained my body’s responses to food thus eventually progressing back to a normal diet. It’s a huge deal for me and an amazing accomplishment in my struggles with my health.

However, why would I, a long-time faithful Christian, NOT want to thank God for such success? It’s because I knew that the same success I was experiencing with my health may have had no bearing on whether or not I was Christian. It wasn’t miraculous, which I guess was a little disappointing to me, but just me learning and retraining my body’s responses to food. Something most anybody could learn whether they were a Christian or not. I guess I wanted to feel special in this victory. As if it was God Himself that did this especially for me. We all want to feel that, right? And when I didn’t, I realized once again, as I have in times past, that my relationship with Him had to come from something more than anything physical. And, it was in this knowledge that I was able to remember my Creator and bow before Him to thank Him wholeheartedly.

Yes, anyone may be able to mentally retrain their body, but Christian or not, it was God who created the body. I and others are just figuring out what’s been designed and tapping into the power of the God created mind to enhance healing. However, as a Christian, I recognize the source of this power and it’s in this that I can give God glory for this success thus allowing the spiritual to help me find God’s role in my physical achievement without a miraculous healing.

God knows me all too well. Maybe He didn’t heal me miraculously, but He has always given me what I need when I need it. By the grace of God I’ve learned to fight patiently to get to where I’m at and God knows that this is the fight I need at this moment. I look for more victories to come, not because I may be completely healed, but because the victory will come from the growth and opportunities every struggle will bring. Thank you, God, for all victories!

Father of mercy, Father of comfort, Father of love, it is in You that I find peace and victory no matter my struggles. You created my body and mind and anything good that results from my efforts is only a manifestation of what You have created. Thank you for every opportunity I have to learn and grow. You have proven time and time again that You give me what I need when I need it so I trust You, my Father, because You know me better than I know myself. You see my heart, my future, and to the depths of my soul. Thank you for every measure of healing no matter how, and for Your continued guidance through every struggle. Amen.

Truth in love,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s