He attacks so suddenly. That nasty monster of disabling chronic illness. Oh how scary it is when the beast strikes. What turmoil he creates in his path. He’s a dragon that has no mercy on his victim — with no way for the knight to slay his nastiness for his lady.
What’s a knight to do when his every instinct is to save his damsel in distress? He needs to fix it; he needs to make it right; he needs to protect the lady he so dearly loves. Yet, no matter the desperate efforts he makes, this dragon can not and will not be defeated anytime soon. He will linger and torment the knight’s lady, and as a result, him and his family too. The knight will have to sit back and watch all this unfold with no complete resolution in sight. What to do? What to do?
What’s the lady to do when the dragon’s fire burns so deep that it also torments her knight? She needs support; she needs comfort; she needs understanding. Yet, no matter her cries for consoling, it’s scarcely there because his deep devotion leads him to obsession and frustration with this battle, making it difficult for him to give. The beast has overtaken both their lives — become a harsh influence — and though he will not soon be crushed, his power over them must be tamed for there to be endurance. But how? But how?
The knight and his lady will need to learn to adjust to each other’s newfound needs; to honestly put aside their own ideas of what they think the other needs (unless there is immediate danger); to openly listen, work together, and find a new balance as they figure out how to readjust to this untimely disruption to the best of their discernment one day at a time. It is then that they will begin to learn what endurance, patience, and perseverance is all about. It is then that they will understand what it means to grow in sacrificial love for each other. It is then that they will start to experience relief, not because the monster is gone, but because they have learned how to suffer together.
So….my dear knight….my dear lady….consider this heartfelt advice from a lady who has endured with her knight by taming the dragon’s fire together.
To the Knight:
You wanting to go to battle and protect your lady is such a beneficial asset. It’s your nature and there are times that she needs it. However, you are going to have to learn to tone it down and realize that in these moments of uncertainty, she needs more gentle understanding by you listening and allowing her to grieve in whatever way she needs. She does not need you to baby her (unless requested), but to understand that her emotions are a rollercoaster that she can not understand herself. Hold her. Comfort her. Let her cry without trying to fix her problems. Although you may want to do everything for her to keep her from further burdens, you need to allow her to do things that are important to her even though it may cause adverse effects.
To the Lady:
You need to realize that your knight is suffering just as much as you. He is trying to be strong for you so he may not show it, but it will come out in other ways — many times as angry outbursts. This is not your fault and you do not need to feel guilty. He is not blaming you, yet he is just frustrated that he can’t fix you. You need to understand that he is hurting and remember that this is because he deeply loves you. You also will need to communicate with him what you need. Maybe you don’t always know because emotions are crazy, but do the best you can. You will learn to figure it out.
To the Knight and the Lady:
You don’t have to go at this alone. In fact, it can be more burdensome to only have each other to talk to. This monster can totally consume your lives. Each of you would do well to find a reliable, faithful friend to share in this — preferably someone you both trust and maybe even others that have fought a similar battle. There is much wisdom in others who have also faced the dragon’s fire. And lastly, and most importantly, never forget that your King always gives you the armor you absolutely need to withstand all beasts, but you must wear the whole armor (Eph. 6:10-20). Put on your breastplate of righteousness, take the shield of faith, wear the helmet of salvation, fight with the sword of the Spirit that is the wise words of the King, and pray always for the King’s protection knowing that in the end this monsterous dragon WIIL BE slain for all eternity by your sovereign Ruler. In this way, you can be SURE that YOU WILL overcome the power of the dragon!
My sovereign Ruler, my Protector, my Shield, my Refuge, my King most high…I am a lowly servant who is being tormented by a nasty beast. It is a hard and difficult battle, and I don’t see an end to it anytime soon. And although no end is in sight, I will learn to tame this beast for the sake of not only myself, but for my spouse and family. I know this is done by longsuffering and learning to be in tune with each other’s needs in the process. So it is at this moment that I put on my whole armor. It is not a physical armor but the spiritual armor You have provided to Your faithful. With it, I have all the confidence I need to boldly endure this dragon. Though I may feel the sting of his fire right now, one day I know he will be ultimately defeated and we will be victorious with You, our King, because we have faithfully fought the good fight against every monster we have faced. Hallelujah for the day of victory! Amen!
Truth in love,