Proverbial Family: Defeating the Adulterous Woman Within

The adulterous….that leaves the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God. Proverbs 2:16, 17

She’s in the heart of every woman just waiting to come out. No woman is exempt from her treachery. No woman should be naïve to think she’s not vulnerable.

She’ll play on your weaknesses ever so subtly. Poking at your heart one day at a time. Deluding you that this is where you will find validation. This is where you will fill all the voids in your life. This is where you will finally get to experience all your deepest desires and passions.

She’ll cloud all your reasoning until you become just like her — the adulterous woman.

Don’t think it can happen to you? Many women have thought the same and have failed.

“It’s not possible.”

“There’s nothing that could ever cause me to do that.”

“I can flirt with the line and be just fine.”

Think again.

Because the day will come where the line has been tested too much or the right trigger pushes you into a desperate need to find fulfillment in the wrong place.

Be mindful, my dear wives, and take a stand for your righteousness by proactively getting ahead of her to keep yourself pure. Here’s some advice:

  • Be diligent (Gal. 6:7-8, 1 Pet. 5:8-9, 1 Cor. 6:18) – Set wise boundaries and be diligent to keep them because Satan is looking to take advantage of every opportunity. Limit private communication and contact with the opposite sex (especially someone you have an attractiveness to) to the best of your ability. Don’t fool yourself. The path to adultery usually starts with innocent intentions that turn into an emotional attachment over time. When you start making excuses why it’s okay to cross certain boundaries, that should be a red flag. Flee sexual immorality by listening to those little voices that say “stop” before it’s too late.
  • Be accountable (Gal. 6:2, James 5:16) – No one can just lock themselves in a vault and avoid every person of the opposite sex. We need to work together and communicate to accomplish things. This is where accountability is necessary. Recognize the potential temptations around you, talk to someone you trust, and be accountable. Keep an open dialogue going about who you’re in contact with and why. Mainly, this should be your husband, but I understand sometimes this is not always feasible. So, be sure to include a trusted sister.
  • Be aware (Matt. 15:19, Mark 7:21) – With boundaries and accountability you should have this adultery thing mastered, right? Wrong. These are great tools to deter feeding these temptations and acting on sin, but be aware that anyone can be triggered to struggle with this at any time. An unfaithful spouse, sexual abuse, a change in health, a death, a rocky marriage, loss of a job, or anything past or present that causes a deep, painful void can push anyone to places they never thought they’d be. It’s scary to even fathom, but it does happen. What needs to take place first is an awareness of the real issue with the understanding that seeking something you know is harmful (even though you may not feel it’s harmful at the time) is really about the underlying issue within your own heart that needs healing.
  • Be proactive (James 1:14-15, 1 Cor. 6:20, 1 Cor. 10:13) – While being proactive is the basis for every person who is working to prevent sin, it’s especially necessary when healing needs to take place. There are underlying issues that give intensity to the desire to commit adultery and they must be addressed directly. Don’t buy into the delusion that your emptiness can be filled with this sin. It’s a deception from Satan and will only lead to worse pain than what you’re already experiencing. Be proactive by doing whatever is feasible to heal even it if means having some very uncomfortable conversations, admitting some grave wrongs, confronting or leaving behind a difficult past, cutting off a toxic nonmarital relationship, or being vunerable enough to seek counseling. Even if complete healing doesn’t happen, any improvement from where you’re at now can certainly make your desires more manageable. Always be sure to concentrate your energy and passions into your own marriage as much as possible, and most importantly, immerse yourself in God’s word and pray earnestly to remind yourself of the special value God places on you and the complete, spiritual healing that’s found in Christ. If you lay your heart open to God and do this faithfully, God will provide you the means of escape from adultery.

You can do it! With God’s guidance, you can defeat the adulterous woman who looks for satisfaction and validation in all the wrong places. You can remain faithful to your companion and the covenant for which you made before God. And when you do, you will experience a deep peace and healing that no person in this world can provide.

Wise Father, by Your wisdom, Solomon writes a warning to beware of the adulterous. Let me never become that! I will be diligent, accountable, aware, and proactive so as to be sure I am remaining faithful to my companion and the covenant I made before You. Thank you for the means of escape You give me for I know that in Christ I am able to overcome all desires that lead me to sin. What tremendous value You have placed on my soul with the spiritual healing I receive through the love of my Savior! Amen!

Truth in love,

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