I don’t think there’s a subject that causes me to doubt God more than this subject, but also at the same time causes me to want to cling to Him. It’s one of those rabbit holes I can go down and almost give up my faith, but then getting to the bottom pushes me to grasp for hope.
Logically, I know that evil must exist for there to be free will, especially the freedom to choose to love God or anyone else for that matter. How could there be love if someone is being forced to love? That choice must be there for its existence, but I find myself asking how could a loving God permit certain types of evil?
If God loves the people He created as He says He does (John 3:16), how could He allow innocent children to suffer in the most heinous ways and then expect them to recoup from it to live lives that are godly? I’ve seen the problems some people carry and struggle with because of the abuse they suffered as a child, and it not only breaks my heart but makes me angry that some people just seem to not be able to get past it.
I’m okay with the concept of how bad actions have bad consequences and good actions have good consequences, but to see people suffer when it’s no fault of their own, where’s the justice in that? To see God allow people to suffer from natural disasters or as the result of other’s bad actions is hard to make peace with. It not only makes me angry that it happened, but I also find myself being angry at God because He let it happen.
At this point, I’m at the bottom of the rabbit hole; ready to just toss in the towel on my relationship with God; angry that He doesn’t do something to protect those innocent children or innocent people. Why, oh why God won’t You do something?! DO SOMETHING for that little girl or little boy who has been sold into slavery and has no choice. Whose life will be forever changed by such evil. Get them out. Stop it FOREVER! Don’t allow this to even exist in our world. I’m pleading with You! How can I say You are good when this evil exists?
Then, I must make the choice. The choice to continue in the anger that drives me away from God with no hope or the anger that sides with God with all hope.
You see, my anger is not without an ally. Deep down I know God hates every act of evil in this world (Prov. 6:16-19, Psalm 5:4-5). I’m just having a hard time resolving His hate for it and His allowance for certain types of evil. I don’t understand it and I don’t think I ever will.
However, it’s not as if God hasn’t given any answers or resolutions and that’s where I have to place my focus. I will be angry as God is at evil (Rom. 1:18) but in that anger, I will let it draw me back to the reason I cling to God in the first place….hope (Rom. 15:13). Hope that even though I don’t understand why God allows such evil, I can still know there’s an end to it all (Prov. 24:19-20, Rev. 21:4). Hope that God will be just in whatever judgment He sees fit for each individual and that no one will escape this (Rom. 14:10-12). Hope that even though I don’t practice the evils I see as so bad, I too have done evil things and have a way to receive grace and mercy so I am not condemned as I should be (Rom. 3:23, Eph. 2:4-5).
This hope is all tied up in Jesus (1 Pet. 1:3). If I will just focus on Him and the love the Father has for me and mankind by not sparing His suffering, then I can once again cling to Him and the hope He provides (1 John 4:9-10).
What’s the alternative? Living a life in bitterness towards God because I can’t understand why some things happen? Where will that get me? No place good for sure.
So, I use the free will He has given me through allowing evil and continue to be angry about the horrible crimes of this world while also choosing to trust God and hope in His promises despite those crimes. What do you choose?
Revelation 21:4 “And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.”
Truth in Love 