One Wednesday night I felt worthless. My struggles give me wisdom, but yet I struggle to share it. I see so many people suffering. So many people who do not know the truth. All I want to do is show them a peace and a hope that is greater than any challenges in life and that God’s truth can be known even though there is so much confusion in our religious world. I want them to know they are loved and that someone cares. That even when those closest to you leave or betray you, there is One that will never forsake you. That no matter what wrong you have done in life, there is forgiveness. There is a better way.
I ask God, “Why do I struggle physically the more I reach out to others?”
Especially when Jesus says, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few.”
I will labor, but yet I am hindered. I am angry. I drench my pillow with tears. It doesn’t make sense. I don’t understand.
Then the Lord answered [me] out of the whirlwind, and said:
“Who is this who darkens counsel by words without knowledge? Prepare yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer Me. Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding. Who determined it’s measures? Surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? To what were its foundations fastened? Or who laid its cornerstone, when the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?”
Job 42:1-2, 6
Then [I] answered the Lord and said:
“I know that you can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You…..Therefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.”
My God, may I always remember who You are and that nothing is too great for You. Though I may not always understand my circumstances, let me always remember that You are the Creator and that if there is something that is important for me to do in Your kingdom, You will give me the strength and opportunity to do it as I continue to be a willing and faithful servant of Yours. Please forgive me when I doubt You as I humble myself before You. In Jesus name, Amen.
Truth in love,