“Love each other”….WHAT?! That was Jon’s last voicemail to his best friend, Eddie, who was having an affair with his wife, before Jon committed suicide in the new ABC series A Million Little Things? A blessing to continue on in a relationship that was breaking every promise he and his wife had made in their wedding vows? Maybe it seems like a noble thing to do, but what really is being promoted here? With this statement, and other friends encouraging Eddie to leave his current wife to find happiness elsewhere, A Million Little Things has ONE BIG THING WRONG! Marriage!
It makes me sad…no wait…it infuriates me that people take marriage so lightly. And this…THIS is what is causing the destruction of marriages today. People not upholding the promises they make of “forsaking all others” and “till death do us part.” Adultery and divorce are SERIOUS issues. It destroys families. And to make it all warm and fuzzy like it’s acceptable and okay is NOT OKAY!
Unfortunately, it’s not surprising. In fact, it’s to the point where it’s to be expected. A commitment to one person for life is tough. To expect someone to stay in a marriage that’s gotten tough is not popular any more, because real commitment would require tremendous sacrifice of self, and in a culture that’s all about doing what makes self happy, it’s not going to stick.
However, there are those that hold to what marriages genuinely should be and find happiness on a different level. People who stick in tough marriages and uphold their wedding vows. Even after adultery — where God gives a valid reason for divorce — there are those who choose to stay and thrive thereafter. But, it does take two willing parties, so we can’t assume just because someone is divorced that they don’t uphold these values. It’s possible that they do, and we need more and more people to be brave enough to stand for what is right for marriages.
It’s time for us as a society to start upholding these values again and caring about the promises we make to each other. Families are falling apart left and right and children are being put through emotional trauma all because what once was a promise to remain through thick and thin becomes just words with no substance. If we really are concerned with making positive changes for families, we have to start tackling the root of the problem and not be okay with popular culture that promotes otherwise.
Marriages in the way God designed it is of the upmost importance for maintaining family unity, and we are going to have to get very unpopular to promote this. We are going to have to be real friends, sometimes going against what we feel to do that. To encourage a friend to stay in a marriage where they are hurting because of the lack of love they are not receiving from their spouse is hard. To tell them they must stay for better or for worse is not something most people like to do. To tell them that they still have to be the husband or wife God commands them to be regardless of how their spouse behaves is not all warm and fuzzy. It can sometimes be down right gut wrenching, but it is what it takes to remain committed and gain the blessings of an enduring marriage. And, don’t misunderstand. I’m not talking about situations of abuse or adultery. Those are in a category of their own. But, people today are breaking their marital bonds for far less things, and it needs to stop.
While A Million Little Things may be a show trying to advocate the strong bonds of friendship, it is totally failing in advocating what should be the more significant and stronger bond of marriage. Unless the next episodes remedy this perception, it will be another contributor to what’s influencing failed marriages.
No, Eddie, you don’t need to march back in that room to pursue your adulterous relationship. What you need to do is march home to your wife and do whatever it takes to reclaim your marriage. Break all ties with the woman who’s not your wife, and cling to the woman you made those vows to. Find friends who will hold you accountable to your promises, not ones who easily let you off the hook because times are tough.
And hey, who knows. Maybe the writers will eventually come to this conclusion or have some big revealings that totally change this ungodly direction. It is a story. But, from what I’ve seen so far, I can’t in good conscience stick around and allow this to influence me to find out. In two episodes, it’s already gone too far. If I’m going to be committed to my marriage and to being the friend that helps others do the same, I have got to rid myself of any persuasions that deter that. It’s what we all must determine to do to protect the future of our marriages and to do our best to get that ONE BIG THING RIGHT!
Lord, you are the Creator of marriage as a covenant between a man and woman made with vows that are to be unbroken. How heartbreaking it is to see this being taken lightly in our society. Give us the courage and strength to stand for the sanctity of these promises. Help those of us that are married to be enduring in tough times, learning to sacrifice of ourselves for the sake of Your will and our families. Please give wisdom and special help to those who are suffering from abuse and adultery. Let us all learn how to love each other by the standards You have laid, always trusting that Your ways are best. While standing firmly for the truth, teach us patience in reaching out to the erring and discernment when to move on. Thank you for all hope and forgiveness that can be found in Christ for all of our faults. Amen.
Truth in love,