It’s easy to fall into the trap. And I did big time.
What trap is that? The one where you think you’re in control. The one where you allow your anxiety, frustrations, and anger to guide your emotions. The one that pulls you away from God.
We sold our house with no solid options for our new home in place. Maybe it sounds foolish, but for various reasons, I knew it’s what we needed to do. Even with all the frustrations, I have not regretted it one bit. However, it’s left us in limbo. And what do most people, including myself, do in limbo. Worry and get anxious.
But what REALLY do I have to worry and be anxious about? I have great in-laws who have given us more than a comfortable place to live and history tells me that everything will eventually come together. So why worry?
And what REALLY do I have to be frustrated or angry about? In the midst of a pandemic, my husband is still working and we are in a position to buy or build a home. Maybe we don’t like the cost, but we have the means to do it. So why get so angry?
It’s okay to be frustrated and angry to an extent but enough is enough. I need to pull up my big girl panties and STOP! Stop being an entitled whiny baby who’s trying to force answers now. Stop thinking I can have it all figured out. Stop trying to control everything and trust that God is at work.
And He is! Not trusting that throughout this process has been my greatest failure. Yes, I must do my part by putting in the time to research and seek wise counsel, but that research and counsel is only causing me to try to gain more control if I don’t also find peace in the knowledge that God has promised that He is working too. No amount of research or counsel will substitute the trust I need to have in what God’s providence is doing in the background.
I don’t know when or how, but God will push us where we need to go. He’s already providing more than we ever deserved and will bring us to the place HE needs us to continue to do His work. As someone who is striving to be faithful to Him each day, I fully believe that and will allow that perspective to start guiding my path for His word says:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6