Done

Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth and put devious speech far from you. Proverbs 4:23-24

Between the fatigue and pain of having fibromyalgia, I usually have a few hours of down time each day and with that comes putting everything aside, laying like a vegetable on the couch, and watching TV to escape it all.

While I try to be good about being aware of the content of the things I watch, sometimes I do find myself watching something where it has gone too far. Yet, since I’ve already become wrapped up in the story line, I’ll make excuses to continue to watch in hopes that it’s going to get better. 9 times out of 10 it doesn’t, and then I find myself feeling guilty that I wasn’t more diligent in watching over my heart.

Recently, I was watching a show that involved a lot of the characters acting in deception. At first I could justify it because there were some good characters trying to fight against the deception, but it started getting to the point where even the so-called good characters were acting devious and scheming in the name of good. I chose to stop watching the show, but when I was having trouble finding anything interesting to watch, I went back to it. A few episodes later I found myself once again mad at myself for even entertaining such garbage.

So now I am done. I’m done because I don’t want to become like those characters. Maybe it’s just a TV show, but I have to recognize that watching that and making excuses for it has some affect on me. And when does it get to the point where that affect becomes my own reality? I don’t want to test it and find out.